The picture shows her lying on the bed,
innocently cuddling her cat,
leg bent, foot crooked inside her knee.
Leg of Lamb,
the wolf thinks to himself
and licks his lips.
Silly turtle was completely buried in her dirt today. I swear I ran my hand over every inch of her bin. Then I start searching the room, completely at a loss as to how she could have gotten out. Check her bin again. She was right there. Dang thing.
Why is there a cat in my face?
oh, now there’s a dog too. Guess I’m awake.
Will you two please not fight in my face?
Please tell me it’s at least 8..
Well, I got to sleep in a tiny bit.
Needless to say, having a job that starts at 7:00 and having pets have ruined any chance I have of sleeping til noon. Oh the good old days, how I miss you.
Why would you put me back in this tiny box? And no, no I absolutely refuse! You are not taking me back to that blue motorous monster. That thing makes me nauseous! It feels like the world is flying by, and I’m not even moving!
Last time I was in this box I ended up in an entirely new home. I just got used to it! The curly haired boy is odd, but very entertaining. I don’t want to leave.
Let me out!
It’s dark in here. I want my mini-sun back.
I’ve been in here forever!
Why do you keep peeking at me? Just take me out? Yikes! Why does the world keep stopping and starting so much?
Oh yes. We stopped moving. Finally.
I’ll get to go back to my dirt!
And I sit…. and I sit…
Oh no. She’s going to pick me up.
Think of the dirt, think of the dirt.
Home! Light! Warmth!
I want another worm. I deserve it after that ordeal.
There’s some furry monster by the girl and a new human. They had better not let it near me. It looks… slobbery.
Oh good. they’re all gone.
I don’t mind the girl though. She gets along with the curly-haired boy.
I miss him.
(Don’t worry, Terra will get to go back to Jordan’s after we get back from our trip. Unfortunately, she will have to endure another car ride.)
The silly squirrel chirps and barks at me in anger. He wants me away from his tree? Ha! Fat chance! I defy his angry warnings and lope around the base of the catalpa. This is after all, my yard. What right does a squirrel have to tell me what to do?
He’s silent for a second.
Well now that we’ve got that out of the way, do you feel better mr. squirrel? No? How about we work out our differences? I jump onto the trunk of the tree, digging my claws into the bark. That jump was a little higher than I thought. I inch up the tree. I don’t know how high I can go, but cats always land on their feet, right?
It’s ok, squirrelly, I’m just coming to have a little chat. See? I’m not gonna hurt you (my claws are a bit busy keeping me in this damn tree. Why would you spend ALL your time in one of these?)
YES! I reached the lowest branch! I’m higher above the ground than the height of most humans! Where’d that pesky squirrel go?
Yeah, not quite as loud now are you? That’s right, you inch away. If I made it this high, I can get to you. That branch is only a few feet away. Look at how high I’ve climbed already?
Wow… That’s kind of high. How am I supposed to get down? Hmmm… Well, I’m sure I can just run down the trunk. But I’d better not go toooo much higher. Just a couple branches. Give that squirrel a little bit to worry about.
What’s my silly human doing out here?
“Tulip! Tulip Come down!” Snap, Snap.
Really? As if snapping her fingers is going to get me down. I’m fine. Go back inside. Leave me alone.
BWAHA! Didn’t think I was still paying attention to you, did ya, squirrelly?
I’m gonna getcha!
Okaaaay…. I guess I’ll let you live. This time.
Just because I don’t want my silly human to worry about me in this tree.
Now, to get down…… Ok, here goes..
clackety, scrape sliiiiide
Ooh, that was fun! I’ll definitely be doing that again. Watch out squirrelly! I’ll be back!
So, Jordan and I got a turtle this last weekend. It belonged to a coworker’s son, who is 16 and now more interested in girls and sports than taking care of a turtle. We went over and got the turtle, the tub she’s been living in, and a few caretaking items from them. They had named her Timmy, not knowing that she was a girl for a while. We have named her Terra.
Terra is a dork, just like us. She burrows in her dirt, dirties up her water dish, and tries to climb up the walls of her tub. She loves being hummed and whistled too. Jordan got her a little plate for her food. It has Tinkerbell and some other faeries on it. This morning she seemed just as reluctant to have the light turned on at 6:30 as I was. Read the rest of this entry
A punny fellow English major friend and I almost named this one “stream of conciousness.” But the title as it is is perfect, and though I’ve thought of making many changes after readers misunderstood and just failed to “get” this piece, it says exactly what I want it to, and I can’t really imagine any changes without compromising the piece.
Without further rambling…
It is a gorgeous day. I swim freely in my lovely, fast-paced stream, loving life. For a while, I was afraid that I would regret leaving the cave-pond where I grew up, but I longed to escape. I needed change. So I left, and I am loving my life in this action-packed river. But don’t be fooled. Though I have been sheltered, I am not ignorant of the ways of this world. I know the dangers that lurk around every corner, waiting to catch me unawares.
So of course, your bait does not fool me. Yes, that plump worm is tempting, floating there, just begging to be snatched up, but I know that hiding beneath that fleshy mass is a wiry hook- a hook that has caught many fish already, and will catch many more. I refuse to be one of those fish. Read the rest of this entry
This is a piece I wrote a couple of years ago for The Promethean, Concordia University-Portland’s literary journal. It is based (loosely) on a true story.
It all started with a squirrel. Actually, there were three of them, if we’re going to be exact. One would not think that three members of one of the cuter rodent families in the world would be responsible for so much chaos, yet that is precisely what happened.
It was, of course, a normal day in Portland, Oregon. The sun was shining, though it had been raining moments prior and would be raining again within the next quarter hour.
One of the previously mentioned squirrels was out gathering food and forage and going about his normal squirrely business, when he saw two other squirrels. One was a fellow male. The other was the nuttiest smelling female his pheromone detectors had ever sensed. He instantly dropped his load and scurried to get a better look. Read the rest of this entry