Ghosting vs. Releasing

Today we have a guest post from W.M Chandler! She writes about the importance of cutting loose toxic relationships while recognizing that not all conflict is toxic.

We have all experienced relationships that did not serve us in a positive way, whether it was a family member that only caused turmoil, a malicious friend or a narcissistic significant other. Letting go of a relationship to better your mental state can be both empowering and jarring for both parties.

When evaluating your relationships, it is important to recognize the difference between long-lasting negative feelings and an exclusive instance that may have an opportunity to be remedied. This is the difference between the need to release a person from your life and simply “ghosting” on a relationship that might have been only temporarily soured.

There are many reasons and events that can lead to feeling the need to omit a person from your life. When feelings or thoughtful actions are not reciprocated, when there is a lack of trust or where forgiveness is simply not available for a harmful deed committed it is time to let that person go. Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason and you just have to listen to your what your head and heart are telling you about your relationships.

Significant Others

There are some clear signs that will tell you when you need to detoxify your life of a harmful significant other. These signs include control issues, domestic or emotional abuse are all reasons to leave a romantic partner without blinking an eye.

In today’s dating world, full of online dating apps and one night stands, it is perfectly acceptable to ghost on someone that you only dated a short amount of time. Whether it is because that person doesn’t make you feel special or simply irks you in the wrong way.

In the event that you feel that the relationship is beyond repair, leave the relationship with grace and don’t just ghost. If you are married and are considering a divorce, hire an attorney to ease the process and attempt to move forward as elegantly as possible

Friends

Friends may be the easiest victim of the ghost or release. There is not a bloodline that keeps you close to family or deeper promises that tether you to a significant other. Once you feel begin to feel uncomfortable, agitated and anxiety around a person on a consistent basis it should raise some red flags for you.

If you are merely acquaintances, you can feel justified in letting them fade away from your life. For longer lasting friendships, it is important to evaluate why you are feeling the need to remove them from your life and not just ghost on them. Is there an unresolved issue or argument? Do you feel that you were mistreated?

Often times, visiting a neutral place such as a city, state or even National Parks close by will allow you to feel more open to discussing whatever it is that ails you and makes you feel uncomfortable. The beautiful and calming setting can ease uncomfortable silences and if necessary allow you to walk away from a no longer constructive conversation.

Parents and Family

Parents and family members can be some of the messiest relationships to navigate. They are so deeply ingrained into your life that it is unlikely that you will be able to sever ties in the hopes of never seeing that toxic person again. This leaves nearly zero options for ghosting on that terrible aunt or grandparent.

These are the relationships that you will want to maneuver very carefully and be confident in your convictions before acting upon them.

It is not uncommon for the root of the issue with a family member to be long term and unintentional. Parents and family members unconsciously take advantage of one another at times. If you feel that the situation can be remedied, consider visiting a family counselor to help work through your issues.

W.M. Chandler is a Colorado native and works best with her head in the clouds. She is an avid researcher and enjoys writing about unfamiliar subjects. She writes passionately about nature and the outdoors, human connections and relationships, nutrition and good ole’ fashioned homesteading.

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Posted on February 21, 2017, in Writing. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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